


Look Who's Talking

by Gem1620



Category: Sly Cooper (Video Games)
Genre: Babies, F/M, Family Secrets, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-13 22:47:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17496827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gem1620/pseuds/Gem1620
Summary: Due to a mess up on an undercover job Carmelita Fox gets pregnant by an unknown father and now has to find someone to watch her baby while she's at work. Meanwhile local thief Sly Cooper is trying to hide from the law and ends up working out an interesting propistion. Observing all this is little baby Nicky who's just trying to figure out the world.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Bolted words are the baby's thoughts.

Inspector Carmelita Montoya Fox carefully applied mascara and lipstick as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Once she made sure her make up was on point she pulled her hair up and slipped on an alluring black dress with matching heals.

Tonight she was going undercover under the analysis of Sophia Cortez an exotic young dancer from a club who was hired to entertain a party celebrating the success of Raoul Baudelaire. He was supposedly just a harmless wine and beer trader but sources indicated that it was just a cover for him and his gang to smuggle an illegal drug that had been swiped from government labs.

A group a scientists were trying to create a drug that would cure alcoholism instead accidentally created a drug that when mixed with alcohol would cause anyone who consumed so much as one spoonful of it to become instantly drunk. When this was discovered they intended to get rid of all traces of it by someone managed to sneak in and steal the drug. Evidence pointed toward Raoul and tonight Carmelita was planning to seduce him into a confession which she would tape using a recorder she had in her dress pocket.

At nine o'clock pm she arrived at Raoul's penthouse. Inside were all his gang members getting drunk and partying hard, very few of them were sober and one of them was Raoul. There he was, the suave, charming, yet deceitful and manipulative raccoon sharing a toast with his somber members sure that he was going to get away with his crimes.

"Well hello gorgeous." He said when he saw her. "You the girl Andre called in?"

"That's me." Carmelita said giving him her best flirty smile. "Sophia Cortez at your disposal."

"I like you. Go on upstairs to my room, I'll meet you there."

"I'll be waiting." She winked and went upstairs.

"Andre bring me my best bottle of wine."

"You got it man." His partner said.

Just then they heard glass break.

"What was that?" Raoul asked.

"Oh that was your cousin. The guys and I decided to give him our 'special drink flavorer'."

"You guys sure do like to mess with him a lot."

"He makes it so easy."

"Well make sure he doesn't hurt himself. If he has another accident because of me my mom will rat me out to police for sure this time."

"Okay I'll lock him in one of the bedrooms so he doesn't go anywhere."

With that information said Raoul went upstairs to find Carmelita waiting for him in a very seductive position.

"Wait right there babe." He told her. "I just need to get a little wine to get us in the mood."

"I'll just start freshening up for you."

She went into the bathroom where she got her recorder ready while he went to get the wine. As he stepped out of the room he accidentally knocked over her purse spilling some things. One of which was a police badge that had Carmelita's name and profile picture on it. At once he realized that she was a cop and that he needed to get out of here.

"Hey Andre!" He called. "Bring me our wine flavorer too. I have a feeling we're going to need it."

When Raoul came back he poured two glasses of wine. Mixed something in one of the glasses, handed it to her, a few hours later a sperm broke through her egg and a new life was formed.

**"Well here I am. Geez it sure is small in here hope I don't grow too big otherwise I'll get cramped."**

...

The next morning when Carmelita woke up her head ached in a horrible way. She felt like there was a hammer inside of her brain that was beating against her skull repeatedly. Was she hung over? But how could she be? She only had one glass of wine. Crap! They must've slipped that drug into her drink and after one sip it was already one, two, three, floor.

As she started to come back to her senses she became aware of three things. One she was alone, two she was lying in bed, and three she wasn't wearing any clothes.

"Oh my God!" She gasped. "What happened to me last night?"

She looked around and saw that her dress, heals, purse, and other things she brought were on the floor and that the window was wide open. Wrapping the blanket around herself she went to close the window and cover it with the curtains, got dressed, called for back up, and when she found the door was locked she broke it down with her shock pistol and went to arrest the unconscious drunkards who remained however Raoul was no where to be seen.

"We've searched every single spot in Paris there's been no sign of him." Chief Barkley told her the next day when she came to work. "He's skipped town! He's gone! Flown the coop! Is God knows where right now! What happened?"

"I honestly don't know sir." She said. "We were alone, I was ready to get a confession out of him, he offered me some wine and then everything went black."

"You drank wine that he offered you? The man who has been smuggling a drug that gets you instantly drunk when mixed with alcohol? What were you thinking Inspector?!"

**"Hey quit with the yelling out there! I'm trying to get some sleep!"**

As Carmelita listened to the chief scold her she couldn't help but feel so ashamed, embarrassed, and nauseous which was strange because she hadn't thrown up or felt any nausea since she had the flu at age ten. She took a sip of her coffee hoping that the feeling would soon pass if she just didn't think about it but it just kept getting worse and worse and worse until she felt something coming up.

"Inspector are you okay?" The chief asked. "You're looking a little green?"

She didn't answer. Instead she bolted for the ladies room where she threw up into the nearest toilet.

"Inspector are you feeling alright?" Barkley asked when she came out of the bathroom.

"Yeah I guess I'm just still a little hung over from the other day."

"Take a few days off Inspector. Get some rest and if things don't get better see a doctor."

Carmelita was sure that this was all just a result of her getting really drunk the other night but after puking her guts out for a week and missing her expected period she began to fear the worst.

She took a pregnancy test which to her great shame and fear confirmed her suspicions.

"I can't believe this." She said when she told her wolf friend Bianca two weeks later. "Not only did I sleep with a criminal but a criminal impregnated me! Oh God what are my parents going to say? What is the chief going to say?"

"Alright don't panic." Bianca said.

"Don't panic?! I'm a cop who's pregnant with a criminal's child! My job and my reputation are so in the toilet!"

"That and your breakfast."

"Oh I'm glad you find this so funny."

"Look what's the big deal you've talked about wanting to start a family."

"Yes when I was married and when I was sure that my child would have a father!"

**"Hmm...I wonder why she's so upset?"**

"Well what are you going to do? Abort it?"

"Bianca I'm Catholic in my religion that's murder."

"Okay what about adoption?"

"No I'm keeping it I just don't know how I'm going raise it on my own."

"Maybe not. Why don't you try dating?"

"Bianca I haven't been on a date since the night of my prom. I wouldn't know where to begin."

"Good point but hey at least you still have me?"

"Thanks Bianca."

"No problem."

**"Blah, blah, blah. Meaningless chatter. Hey I'm hungry how about some pickles and ice cream huh?"**

A couple minutes later Bianca was watching her scarf down pickles and ice cream followed by some sardines with melted cheese, eggs with jelly, and a whole jug of apple juice.

"Oh man why do pregnant women eat such gross stuff?" Bianca asked in disgust.


	2. Chapter 2

Carmelita didn't want to face the humiliation of people finding out that she a cop got pregnant by a criminal so she told everyone that she was artificially inseminated. Bianca was the only one who knew the truth and Carmelita swore her to secrecy.

"Inspector since you're now pregnant." Chief Barkley told her when he heard the news. "I think that it would be best if I had you on desk duty for awhile."

"Chief I hate desk duty."

"I understand that Inspector but I don't think it's a good idea for you to be chasing after criminals while you're in this condition unless you want to risk a miscarriage."

Carmelita was ready to argue but she soon realized that the Chief was right. She couldn't risk her baby's health even if it meant spending nine months doing boring desk work.

"Alright Chief."

"Great and don't worry you won't just be doing paperwork you'll also be working with district attorney Dean Hockley on organizing files and examining evidence."

"Oh no not him. Please Chief anyone but him."

"I'm sorry Carmelita I know about your history with him but so far he's our most qualified lawyer for this case."

"Fine."

Dean Hockley was a famous hyena lawyer who oddly enough did not have a sense of humor and was very serious. He was serious about his appearance, his job, his money, the only thing he wasn't serious about was his relationships. He happened to be Carmelita's ex boyfriend, they dated when she was an high school and he was in college but nothing really happened except for kissing. She broke up with him after she found out what a womanizer he was and caught him cheating on her. While she said it was over he was still crazy for her.

"How are you Carmelita?" He asked her.

"I'm doing just fine thank you." She said.

"I hear you're pregnant. Congratulations, who's the father?"

"He's a sperm donnor."

"That's terrible. Every kid needs a father don't you think?"

"Yes but sadly I don't know any men caring or FAITHFUL enough to be the father."

"Carmelita you still can't be mad about what happened on your prom night that was seven years ago. I'm a changed man."

"Right and I recently just won the lottery."

**"Man does she hate that guy."**

"Look Dean right now I can't focus on a relationship. Right now I need to focus on taking care of my baby now if you'll excuse me I have some paper work to do."

For nine months Carmelita did paperwork while craving strange food, puking in toilets, attending doctor appointments regularly, and shopping for baby clothes, toys, diapers, and a crib. She read books on how to take care of babies and how to prepare for them. The whole thing made her nervous but excited at the same time. She couldn't believe that she was actually going to be a mother. She had always wanted a family she just never saw it happening until now and while she enjoyed carrying a baby inside of her but by the time the last month came around she was sick of it.

"Come on, come out already." She complained to her now swollen belly.

**"What is she saying? I can't understand a word she says whoever she is. Anyway I'm hungry how about some more of those sardines with melted cheese?"**

Carmelita got up from her chair and went to the refrigerator in her apartment kitchen. She pulled out some sardines and prepared to start dipping them in melted cheese when she heard someone outside shout.

"Stop! Thief!"

She looked out the window to see a thief sneaking out of someone's apartment and running down the stairway. Now Carmelita knew that she probably shouldn't go after him but her inner cop told her not to let him escape. So she grabbed her shock pistol and chased down the thief into an alley way.

"Freeze!" She shouted when she had him conered. "Put your hands where I can see him and turn around to face me."

The thief lifted his gloved hands up and turned around slowly to face her. He was a raccoon, a young raccoon who was about her age and he was very good looking of course she would never say that about a criminal and despite the fact that she had her shock pistol pointed straight at him he flashed her a cocky smile.

"What are you grinning at?" She said.

"Nothing except I never expected a pregnant woman to look so lovely."

"Save your flattery for the judge Mr.-"

"Cooper, Sly Cooper at your service."

**"Wow it's gotten really cramped in here. I think it's time for me to move out."**

"Listen I really don't feel good about fighting a lady especially when she's pregnant so why don't you just let me go?" Sly said.

"Not a chance now on the ground so I can- Oh! Oh no!" She felt a contraction. "Oh God why now?"

She lowered her pistol giving Sly the perfect chance to escape. He quickly bolted up the nearest stairway and prepared to start leaping away across rooftops until he saw Carmelita collapse on the sidewalk clutching her belly.

"Please help me! I'm in labor!" She begged a nearby man who walked by. "Can you call me a cab?"

"Call one yourself." He told her.

"I can't I left my phone in my apartment."

"Not my problem." He then walked away.

"No wait! Come back! Please! I need to get to the hospital! Ah!"

"Oh shit." Sly cursed when his conscience demanded that he help her. He climbed back down the stairway and helped her up to her feet. "Hang on I gotcha."

"Get your hands off me! How dare you try to rob a pregnant woman!"

"I'm not going to rob you! I'm going to take you to the hospital!"

"Don't do that! Just call me a cab!"

"I can't I don't have a phone but I do I have a friend who has a van. Come with me."

"Ugh! I guess I don't have a choice."

He took her over to where a van was parked.

"Murray! Start up the van we've got an emergency!"

But there was no answer. He opened the van but found no one inside but he did found a note that read. 'Dear Sly and Bently gone to an all you can eat buffet see you tomorrow.'

"Oh damn it Murray! Okay looks like I'm driving."

He sat Carmelita down in the passenger seat, put the key in the ignition, started up the van, and stepped on the petal as hard as he could causing the van to take off.

"Hey slow down! The first stages of labor could take hours!" Carmelita told him.

"Yeah so could the midtown traffic!"

The traffic was really crowded and there were cars driving at high speed. One almost hit them and Sly barely missed it.

"Hey why don't pull over till the ludes wear off?!" Sly shouted angrily at the driver.

"Ahhh! Look out!" Carmelita screamed when he almost hit a truck. "God you idiot! Where did you learn to drive?!"

"Um... That's a long story. Here why don't you hold on to my hand. Bear down, bear down."

"Get away from me! Oh God my water just broke!"

"Whoa! Hey move it! I got an emergency here!" He shouted at the traffic only to have certain drivers 's curse back at him. Several tried to ram him and he ended up swearving around in circles.

"Oh you stupid son of a-" Carmelita screamed.

"Come on breathe deep! Breathe deep!" Sly told her.

"Don't try to help me! Just drive!"

"Do you want me to call your husband?"

"I don't have a husband!" 

"Okay do you want me to call your boyfriend?"

"I don't have a boyfriend either! I was artificially inseminated!"

"What are you a lesbo?"

"No! Oh just shut up and keep driving before I arrest you for theft and several traffic violations you've caused!"


	3. Chapter 3

When they finally arrived at the hospital Carmelita was fuming with rage and hormones and she took them out on Sly.

"You stupid jerk!" She shouted hitting him. "My baby will probably have brain damage because of you!"

"Hey stop it! We made it here in one piece didn't we?!"

"Barely!"

"Okay I'm sorry! I haven't driven in a whole lot so I'm a little rusty."

"A little rusty?! You drive like a maniac! I swear if I wasn't catholic I would- Ah! Oh God!" She clutched her stomach as she felt another contraction.

"Here let me help you inside." Sly offered putting his arms around her for support.

"Don't touch me!" She snapped. "I am perfectly capable of having this baby without you touching me!"

Carmelita was strong but her pregnancy dimished her strength so Sly was able to overpower her and take her inside.

"Hey she needs help! She's in labor." Sly told the nurse at the front desk.

The nurse and several other medics got Carmelita into a wheel chair and rolled her to the nearest room avaliable.

"Here sir you'll have to put on these." She said handing Sly some hospital clothes.

"Why do I have to wear these?"

"Well it's the only way I can allow you into the delivery room to be with your wife."

"My wife?" He squeaked while blushing.

"She's very beautiful and you're very handsome, I have no doubt whatsoever that baby of yours will be gorgeous."

"Oh no! No! You misunderstand she's not my wife."

"No hurry up and get changed." The nurse said not hearing him that time. "You don't want to miss the birth of your first child."

Before he could even blink he was dressed in hospital clothes and in the delivery room where Carmelita was breathing hard and suffering painful contractions.

"Oh God this hurts!" She cried. "This hurts so bad! I feel like I'm dying!"

"Don't panic. Just focus on your breathing." Sly told her.

"Screw my breathing! Wait a minute how did you get in here?! Why is he here?! Who let him in?! This guy is a lunatic! Keep him away from me!"

"Don't feel bad sir. Lots of pregnant women say mean things to their husbands when they're in labor." The doctor said.

"I'm not her husband." Sly said.

"Okay Carmelita we're gonna give you something to ease the pain." The doctor said not paying attention to Sly's words.

"Give me anything! Just stop this pain!" Carmelita cried.

**"Hey what's going on out there? Why is she screaming?"**

Carmelita calmed down once the doctors gave her some medicine to dimish the pain of the contractions. After hours and hours of waiting it was time for the big moment. Carmelita was in bed pushing and gripping Sly's hand so hard that she could've broken it off while the doctor kept encouraging her to keep going.

"Keep pushing." The doctor told her. "You're almost there."

"Ahhhh!" She screamed.

"I can't feel anything in my hand!" Sly cried in pain.

At last Carmelita gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

 **"Ahh! Put me back in! Put me back in!"** The baby thought when he felt the cold air and the blinding light.

"It's a boy!" The doctor announced.

 **"Who are you? And where am I? Oh God could someone please get me a blanket or something I'm frosty out here?! And maybe turn down the lights I'm going blind here**!" He looked over at Sly and Carmelita. **"Who is that? Who are those people? Hey wait a minute what are you going do with the scissors! No! Don't cut that! I need that! Ow!"**

After they cut the cord and made sure that he was perfectly healthy they wrapped him up in a warm blanket and placed him in his mother's arms. He looked exactly like a baby raccoon except he had fox fur. He was the most beautiful thing Carmelita had ever seen. She smiled down at him.

"Hi there, it's nice to finally meet you." She said trying not to break down in tears of joy.

**"Who the heck are you? Are you the person I've been living inside of?"**

"I have just the name for you. Nicholas."

"That's a lovely name." The nurse said.

"He looks more like a Nicky to me." Sly said.

"Nicky huh?" Carmelita said thinking. "Not bad, I'll call him Nicky. My little Nicky."

She planted a kiss on his tiny head. Sly smiled as he looked at the two of him. There truly was nothing more beautiful than a mother holding her child but there was something about this that confused him. If Carmelita's baby was artificially inseminated why was he a mixed breed. His genius best friend Bentley had told him that when doctors artfically inseminated women they made babies pure bred claiming that babies who are a purebreed were healther unless the woman had a husband who was a different species wanted his genes in the baby but Carmelita had no husband so logically she should've had purebred fox baby yet this one was no doubt a mixed breed of a raccoon and a fox.

"Is her husband a raccoon?" Bentley asked when Sly came home later that day and told his friends what happened.

"No she's not married, she doesn't even have a boyfriend." Sly said. "It was a random sperm donnor."

"Strange. The doctors usually make the baby the exact same species as the mother if it's just a random donnor."

"Well maybe she requested to have it mixed bred. To add a little variety to her gene pool."

"You maybe right especially since that whole purebreeds live longer saying is just a quack. According to my calculations mixed breeds live longer."

"Hey where's Murray?"

"Fixing the damages you caused on his van."

"Oh why? Why?! Whyyyyy?!" Murray sobbed as he tried to fix his badly damaged van.

"Sorry Murray but it was an emergency." Sly apologized.

"You owe me big time Sly! You nearly killed my baby with your crazy driving!"

"Wow you sound just like Carmelita."

"Hey um by any chance is this Carmelita an interpol agent?"

"Yeah how did you know?"

"I found her badge in her purse."

Murray held up a black purse which held make up, a phone, a wallet, a badge, and other items.

"She was throwing such a fit yesterday I guess she forgot about it." Sly said taking the purse.

"I'll bring it back to her."

"But Sly she's a cop. She'll arrest you." Bentley said.

"Relax Bentley there's not a cop in all of Paris who can catch me and besides it'll give me a chance to see the kid. You know how much I love babies."

"If you love em so much maybe you should get artfically inseminated." Murray joked.

"Ha, ha very funny. You guys know that I could never be a father. I don't have the time, the money, or the record. I'm wanted in twelve countries so I don't think that I'll be having any kids. Now if you'll excuse me I have a purse to return."

He then leapt out the window and disappeared into the night.

"He acts like it's no big deal but we both know how much he wants a family." Bentley said.

It was true. Sly's parents were killed in a shooting when he was just eight years old. After their deaths he was sent to an orphanage where he met and befriended Bentley and Murray. Two years later all three of them were taken in by his loving maternal aunt who social services had failed to inform about his status as an orphan earlier. She was a wonderful caretaker and Sly enjoyed living with her but they were so poor and any money they made was swiped by her drug dealing relatives leaving the boys the idea to become thieves.

But Sly's aunt disapproved of stealing and when she found out she made the boys promise to stop thieving and to do honest work and foe awhile they did stop stealing and worked honest jobs until his aunt became very sick with cancer. They couldn't afford proper medical care with their jobs so they went back to stealing. Each of them swearing to totally secrecy from his aunt about it and to stop it all together once she was cured.

Poor Sly couldn't bear to lose his aunt. She was the only family he had left and a family was something he had always wanted. He wanted to one day settle down, fall in love, get married, and have kids but it would seem that dream would be nothing more than a dream.


	4. Chapter 4

**"Okay so these things I've got, they're called hands and I can pick stuff up with them? Cool."** Little Nicky was amazed by his newest surroundings. To him everything was so big and colorful and exciting.

"Are you hungry Nicky?" Carmelita asked him. "Do you want some milk? Well Don't you worry Mommy's going to have a bottle ready in just a few minutes."

**"Great but here's a little tip Mommy try to make the bottle a little hotter this time. Last time the milk was a little on the cold side."**

Ding-dong!

**"Whoa! What was that?"**

Carmelita went to answer the door. When she opened it and saw that Sly was on the other side she immediately went for her shock pistol and pointed it at him.

"Don't move!"

"Easy, easy, I didn't come to rob you." Sly said nervously.

"Then why did you come?"

"I thought you might like this back." He held up her purse. "You left it in the van."

She lowered her pistol and took her purse from him.

"Thanks." She said with suspicion in her voice.

"You're welcome. May I come in?"

"No you're a thieving criminal! How do I know you won't just rob me blind?"

"How about the fact that I brought back your purse and if you look inside you won't find a single thing missing."

Carmelita opened her purse and checked to see if he was telling the truth. He was, her make up, wallet, money, badge, credit cards, everything was all in it's place. She closed her purse and looked at him suspiciously then thought for a minute.

"I guess you can come in for awhile." She moved out of the way of the door and let him walk in.

"Nice place you have here. Way better than where I live."

"Oh yeah where do you live?"

"In the back of a van."

"Shocker." She said sarcastically. "So quick question if you're a thief why didn't you steal my purse."

"I never steal from a lady especially when she's got a kid. Speaking of which where is the little tike? I want to see how's adjusting to the outside world."

"He's in his baby carrier, it's on the table but you better not steal him!"

"I don't work that way and besides I love kids."

He walked over to the kitchen table where Nicky sat in his baby carrier looking around with curious eyes.

"Nice to meet you Nicky my name is Sly."

 **"Hey Sly."** Sly held his finger out for Nicky to shake. He grabbed the finger with his little hands and shook it.  **"Can I suck on your finger?"**

"So whatcha doin this morning Carmelita?"

"That's none of your business but if you must know I'm looking for a babysitter for Nicky."

**"Hold on somebody's gonna sit on me? Isn't that wrong? Mommy I'm not a chair."**

"Wait a minute how do you know my name?" Carmelita asked.

"It was on your badge and what do you need a babysitter for? Aren't you on maternity leave?"

"Maternity leave doesn't last forever, I need to hire a sitter before I go back."

"How about your parents?"

"My parents live in Spain."

"How about a friend?"

"I only have one friend and I love her to death but she can't even take care of a plant let alone my child."

"Well I could do it."

**"No I don't want him to sit on me!"**

"No! There's no way I'm leaving some dangerous criminal alone with my child!"

"Okay first of all if you really thought I was dangerous you would've turned me in already and second I love kids and I've had plenty of experience of taking care of them. I baby sat from the time I was twelve til I was eighteen."

"You're a thief! I saw you rob someone's house!"

"Alright you should know that while I am a thief I'm not the kind of thief you think I am."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"That guy I robbed had stolen a hundred thousand dollars from the local bank and I returned the money to the bank."

"All the money?" She said raising her eyebrow.

"Okay I kept half of it."

"That's illegal."

"Well yeah but who's gonna miss fifty hundred dollars?"

"I can think of a few people and what's your point?"

"I only steal what's already been stolen. I never rob people who make an honest living just criminals and corrupted officials."

"It's still illegal and you have about ten seconds to get your butt moving before I arrest you!"

**"What are they talking about?"**

"Awww you're giving me a ten second head start? How sweet and hear I thought you were the cold, merciless, unsympathetic toward criminals type."

"Don't get the wrong idea the only reason you're not on the floor in hand cuffs right now is because I don't want my baby to see anything violent."

**"Mommy I can handle violence. I saw a spider eat a fly and it didn't scare me at all."**

"Well thanks for the warning anyway. See you around, you too Nicky."

Sly left after that. Carmelita was confused by her encounter with Sly. He was by far the strangest thief she had ever met. She also couldn't believe she let him go or didn't call for back up. But as she thought more about it she realized that in a way she kind of owed him for getting her to the hospital so she decided to be a little lenient.

A few weeks later she went out to pick up some papers she left on her desk at work, leaving Nicky in the care of her parents who were visiting at the time. As she walked back home that evening she saw Sly sneaking around in the dark of night with a large bag. Believing that he was up to no good she followed him. His destination was the local orphanage. Carmelita felt a great rage fill up inside of her. He was going to rob an orphange? She had never heard of anything so low.

When she saw him sneak in through the window she pulled out her shock pistol and prepared to go running in there when she stopped at the sound of the children inside laughing and cheering when they saw him.

"It's Sly!" They cheerfully and excitedly tackled Sly to the floor hugging him. He chuckled and then stood up once he managed the kids to release him.

"Hi kids I've got you all something."

"What is it?" One of the orphans asked.

"Well I heard you're soccer ball had a whole in it so I got you a new one." He opened the bag and pulled out a brand new soccer ball which he threw across the floor. The children immediately began playing with it and it wasn't long before he joined in their game.

Carmelita quietly and without being noticed watched Sly and the children through the window. She watched him play with them, she watched him surprise the children with pizza and cake for dinner, and she watched him read them a story and tuck them all into bed. He was so good with them. She realized that he was telling the truth when he said that he loved kids.

"The children love it when you come to visit Sly." The woman running the orphanage told him.

"Well I like seeing them. I noticed that Will and Anna weren't here this time. Were they adopted?"

"Yes last week by a loving couple who could never have children."

"That's great."

"Thank you very much for the new soccer ball the children love it."

"I also brought you this." He handed her a wad of cash. It was the fifty hundred dollars he had pocketed from the money he had returned to the bank. "It's to pay for the electric and heating bill, use the rest to buy the kids those new winter coats you've been saving up for the kids."

"Sly this is too much. You should be using the money to help your aunt."

"She has everything she needs for now. You and the kids don't."

"Thank you."

She hugged Sly, thanked him again, and he walked out of the orphanage where Carmelita was waiting.

"Hey what are you doing here?" He asked her.

"I thought you were going to rob this place so I followed you but I was wrong. I guess you were telling the truth when you said that you loved kids."

"So you'll let me babysit?"

"Why do you want to babysit my son?"

"Because as you probably know I'm a wanted man and the cops are after me. Now I can hide from them at night no problem but during the day not so easy. I need a place to hide and your place seems like it will work real well. So here's the deal you get a babysitter and I get hiding spot during the day."

"You want me to hide you? I'm a cop if I'm caught I am beyond screwed."

"Not if you don't know the babysitter is a criminal."

"I don't follow."

"You're the only cop in Paris who's actually close enough to see what I look like and learn my name. No one else knows those two things. So far as Paris is concerned I'm just Sly Cooper your babysitter who unknown to you is a criminal. In other words if somehow I get caught you fake ignorance."

"You mean lie?"

"Hey lying is apart of life, I've learned to use it to my advantage. Look I promise not to drag you or your kid into any of my work and I'll do it for free."

She sighed reluctantly.

"I know I'm going to regret this but fine. You're hired but if anything happens to him I swear I will hunt you down to the ends of the earth, skin you alive, and use your pelt as a throw rug. Understand?"

"Understood."


	5. Chapter 5

That night little Nicky woke up to the sound of his tummy growling.

 **"I'm hungry. I want milk."**  With that thought he immediately started crying.

Carmelita awoke as soon as she heard him crying through the baby bottle and went into the nursery with a bottle of fresh warm milk.

"There we go Nicky." She said feeding him.

 **"Oh that tastes real good.** " Nicky thought as he ducked on his bottle. "So let me get this straight, I start crying and she comes in with what I need. Well I can certainly cry."

Upon learning this poor Carmelita was subjected to seemingly endless, late night feedings and it didn't stop at night. Whenever Nicky was hungry, needed a new diaper, needed to be burped, or just wanted to be held he would cry and cry and cry. Near the end of her maternity leave Carmelita was ready to drop dead.

Knock-Knock!

"Coming."

Exhausted Carmelita dragged herself over to her apartment door and opened it. It was Sly.

"Hey."

"What are you doing here?"

"You told me that you needed me to babysit today. On the 14th."

"I said the 17th you idiot!"

"Well no need to be testy."

"Sorry I'm just really tired. I can't remember the last time I slept."

"That bad huh? Here why don't you get some sleep and I'll watch the kid?"

"No. No. I can handle it." She mumbled while trying to stay awake. "I better go get Nicky a new bottle."

She went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle from the shelf but she started to swoon. Sly quickly caught her before she hit the floor and she passed out in his arms.

"I guess Mommy's real sleepy huh?" Sly said to Nicky.

**"No kidding. Geez I kinda feel bad keeping her up."**

"Okay Mommy let's get you into bed."

Sly carried Carmelita into her bedroom and tucked her into bed.

"Alright now that Mommy's sleeping what do you say you and I get out of here and have some fun."

**"Sure I got a bad case of cabin fever."**

He put Nicky in his baby carrier and went outside where Murray and Bentley were waiting for him in the van.

"Okay boys get the bubble wrap, helmets, and seat belts ready we got a baby in the van." Sly said.

"Awww! Look at him! He's so cute and tiny!" Murray said when he saw him. He looked over at Nicky and gave him a big smile. "Hi there. My name is Murray."

 **"What's this guy supposed to be? A giant pig?"**  Nicky thought confused. " **He's pink like a pig, he has a big nose like a pig, he's definitely fat like a pig. In fact he's the fatest pig I've ever seen!"**

"So this is the inspector's baby?" Bentley said looking at him.

"Hmm-hmm." Sly confirmed.

"Fascinating." Bentley said studying him. "An actual mixed breed species in it's early stages. I've never seen one before. May I study him?"

"No!" Sly said grabbing Nicky away from him. "Bentley he's a baby not a lab rat!"

"Relax my methods are perfectly harmless and child friendly. Observe." A robotic arm came from his wheel chair, grabbed Nicky, and placed him in an automatic play pen he set up that was filled with wind up toy air planes and trains he had built.

"Oooh! I've never seen toys like these."

"See?"

Sly looked at Bentley suspiciously.

"What exactly are you going do to him?"

"I'm just going to watch him and see how he reacts to the toys I made. Don't worry Sly I used to volunteer at the pediatrician and help doctors examine babies to make sure they're healthy, I know what I'm doing."

"No needles or blood pressure or injections or-"

"Sly I'm just going to watch him and take notes I swear."

"Fine but remember if anything happens to him I'm dead. You hear me? Dead and buried."

"You have my word that no harm will be fall him."

The whole afternoon Nicky played with the toys Bentley gave him while the Bentley studied him and Murray made faces and did tricks.

**"These guys are so weird. Why is the turtle with the funny voice staring at me? And why is the giant pig making weird faces? And why don't they have any hair? Mommy has hair, Sly has hair, Grandma and Grandpa have hair, I have hair, but these guys don't. They're bald. Why are they bald? And why are they're tails so short? And what's that thing the turtle has on his back again? A shell? Why does he have a shell? Why doesn't anyone else have one? These two are so weird but they're kind of funny."**

"Incredible." Bentley observed. "He has the body, eyes, and tail of a raccoon but the fur, ears, and senses of a fox. Sly do you think you could convince Carmelita to tell me who the father is?"

"She doesn't know who the father is and even if she did it's none of our business and why do you wanna know?" Sly said.

"To compare D.N.A and see the genetic structure. I've always been curious by these mixed breeds."

"I think that's enough studying for one day. Come on Nicky let's go to the park."

Sly lifted Nicky on to his shoulders and took him to the park where he put him in a swing at that playground and started to push him back and forth.

**"Wheee! I'm flying! In your face you stupid birds! Who needs wings? I wanna go higher!"**

After that Sly brought Nicky home where he found Carmelita awake and frantic.

"Oh Nicky!" She cried taking him from Sly. "Oh honey! Thank God you're alright!"

"Of course he's alright. What's wrong you have a bad dream?" Sly asked only for Carmelita to punch him right across his face sending him to the floor.

"Stupid! Stupid! Idiot!" She cried hitting him with a broom. "I called the police! I was worried out of my mind?!"

"What are you talking about? You knew I was with him."

"How do I know you're not a kidnapper?! Do you read milk cartons?! And you're a thief! Oh God I was worried that you had kidnapped him was holding him for ransom!"

"I was babysitting!"

"That means that baby stays here and you sit you moron!"

She continued to hit him with the broom repeatedly.

"Hey! Ow! Please! Where's your compassion?! Oof! Okay stop it! What are you trying to do kill me?!"

"Possibly! Hold still!"

"Whoa! Cut it out! That's enough!"

He yanked the broom away from her.

"I'm sorry! You're right I should've asked you before I took him out. I won't do it again I swear!"

"Where did you take him?"

"Just to see my friends."

"Other criminals?!"

"No! No! Trust me they would never hurt a kid! Honest! And after that I took him to the park! Believe me! Nothing happened! He wasn't hurt! Take a look!"

Carmelita looked over at Nicky who was in perfect health and was actually smiling.

**"Hit him with the broom again Mommy. It was just like the puppet show Grandpa showed me."**

"Alright since my son came back okay I'll let you off with just a beating."

"Thank you. Man I think I know why you got artificially inseminated. You're too mean to get a guy to have a baby with you."

That earned him another punch.

"Shut up!" She then walked into the bathroom.

Sly grabbed on to the edge of the counter and used it to help himself stand up. When he was back on his feet he saw Nicky smiling and clapping.

"Oh you think it's funny when your Mommy beats me up do ya?"

**"Yeah! Do it again!"**

"Oh you're going to be violent little thing just like your mom aren't you? I can see it now."

Carmelita walked in with a first aid kit.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"You cut your forehead on the side of the counter when you fell down that second time. Now hold still."

She poured some alcohol on a cloth and began to gently wipe his cut.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Sly said when he felt the stinging sensation.

"Oh don't be such a baby my son is tougher than that."

"It stings. It feels like acid."

"It does not hurt that bad so stuff sniffling and be a man."

"Easy for you to say you're a woman. You can cry and sniffle all you want."

"Sly I've treated little girls who keep completely silent when I do this. I swear some men are a disgrace to their gender."

For a moment they were both quiet. Then Sly started to laugh a little.

"What's so funny?" She asked.

"The last time someone treated my injury I was fourteen and it was done by my aunt Angela. I had gotten into a fight after I found out my boss was pocketing some of the money he owed me. She was so mad."

"About the money?"

"No she was mad because I hurt myself. She couldn't stand the idea of me ever getting hurt."

"She sounds like your mother."

"In a way she was my second mother."

"What happened to your real mother?"

"I...In don't want to talk about it. You know it's getting late I should probably go. Thanks for fixing me up."

Before Carmelita could say another word Sly was gone leaving her to wonder about him.


End file.
